We are approaching a tough topic today with the help of Danielle from Little Bird Diamond and Engagement Ring Consulting. She is a diamond expert and her company helps you find the perfect engagement ring for those that need some help wading through this wide world of options or just want to make sure they are getting the best value for their money. She spends her days deep in diamonds and proposals. So we tapped her from some advice on how to make sure you and your finance are on the same page when to comes to this special moment and finding the right ring.
Brought to you by Danielle of Little Bird - Diamond and Engagement Ring Consulting.
It’s easy for these talks about engagement rings and proposals to get weird quick, so here are a few pointed, honest and still subtle questions guaranteed to keep the conversation on track and produce truly useful intel for your man.
1. Look at your handsome paws! Do you know your ring size?
Of course, he doesn’t. But letting him know that ring size is a thing people know is a good way for you to hint to him that it’s something he needs to know about you. Note: guys freak out about ring size if they are online shopping for the ring. Having this sorted will give him confidence. Find a way to tell him your size during the conversation. “You’ve got big hands, so you’re probably like a 10 or something. I’m half your size so that probably makes me like what, a size 5?”
2. Do you think engagements rings should be traditional or super personal and unique?
This is a legitimate question. I can’t tell you how many couples I’ve worked with where one half of the couple wants something super out there, unique and funky and the other half is set on something traditional. I urge you past the gender stereotypes (and heteronormative filter, for that matter) and realize that your partner may have a completely different idea of what an engagement ring, or wedding set should look like. Find out!
3. Would you want to have a mangagement ring (male engagement ring)?
Serious. My own partner (aka fiance) wears a wide gold band with a baguette diamond set culet side up (translation: a super manly diamond ring). My diamond ring is a bit overwhelming, seeing as I don’t wear rings or diamonds everyday, so I often leave it at home. My man, on the other hand, wears his mangagement ring everyday — never takes it off. He’s going to transition it to his wedding band once we are legally married. For us, our rings are a symbol that unity is whatever you make of it — whatever you believe it to be. We don’t believe that the law has to recognize our unity, so we put rings on the moment we were ready to.
4. Would you want to design something together or would you want to surprise me out of the blue?
Another huge thing to learn about your partner. Many of my clients are dead set on picking out the center gemstone and the setting. They have this feeling like they want to do it all themselves in stealth mode. Perhaps their bride-to-be really wants to be surprised and has given them a few hints or none at all and let them know that the ball is firmly in their court .
Other clients feel like they know the type of center diamond their partner wants (example, an oval cut diamond) but they are worried that the setting is a bit of a hurdle that they don’t think they can make it over, even with an expert in their corner. For those folks, it’s cool to present your bride-to-be with the amazing center gemstone or diamond they will love perhaps set in a super simple temporary setting. Then you can go back to the jeweler and design a ring together.
5. What do you think about the value of diamonds vs. other stones?
There has been much written about the true value of diamonds. It’s often said that millennials are more interested in spending their money on amazing experiences in place of traditional symbolic investments such as diamonds. For as much talk that goes on in this thread, many many people getting engaged today still want to incorporate the symbol of a traditional engagement ring. Even if they are all about the journey and less interested in the glitz. It’s smart to have this conversation with your partner. Do they love diamonds? Or is a super unique Native American turquoise ring really their thing?
There are actually a lot of interesting things to learn about your partner through a discussion on the topic of exchanging symbolic rings. Values, preferences, style, tradition, these are the pillars of a person and it’s always lovely to spend time getting to know your partner in these ways. The upshot? You and your partner will have the intel needed to ultimately knock this whole engagement and wedding ring business out of the park.
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